So a quick update on Day 4. Great news, fantastic sleep, waking up was so easy. I felt alert within seconds. Wonder if that pint of water before bed helped. Must do that again tonight and it didn’t have me running for the toilet at all.
Speaking of toilet (sorry but these things are all changes) I’ve not had any cramps since day 2 and no bloating. Obviously for a non expert on my body they would find it hard to distinguish between bloating and fat, but I know the difference. I’ve had no symptoms at all of IBS (I’ve never been diagnosed but it’s clear that it was a problem for me). I don’t know if that’s just because of a real reduction in the amount of wheat I eat or just reduction in crap in general. Maybe it’s just more water or just a general influx of good stuff. Things are going well in that department and are more what I would term ‘normal’.
I’ve also noticed that the water release has begun. Yesterday afternoon that started. More frequent visits to the loo which are great as I’m still sticking to my use of the upstairs bathroom when downstairs so that I get to include a stair climb with each visit… it’s the little changes right?. I’m peeing gallons and it’s very clear so a great improvement on the infrequent trickle of strongly smelling dark brown stuff that was a sure sign of unhealthiness and pending kidney failure. Maybe I’m over exaggerating there but who knows? It definitely wasn’t good was it? More importantly it’s definitely better now.
I know from the past and from things I’ve read that when the body is being well nourished and well hydrated as well as when it starts to break down fat that it enables the lymphatic system to work better and a lot of the moisture held in our bodies as excess is released. I think this is why you tend to have a larger weight loss in the first week of ‘a diet’ because of the shedding of this large volume of water which weighs a fair bit.
I used to shed tons of water the first day of my period (some months up to 7lbs of the stuff!) so in a way I’m glad I’m not weighing in at the moment. The fluctuations can really impact on apparent weight loss and can be very disheartening, especially when you’ve had a really good week and don’t lose weight without realising it’s cyclical water retention.. This is why when I’ve persevered with a healthy eating programme in spite of a small gain I’ve noticed a really good weight loss the following week; the water that I was retaining last weigh in shedding and then showing up on the next week. But I know the psyche of a dieter and seeing a stay the same or a gain can just destroy weeks of dedication to a new healthy lifestyle.
We’re fragile folk those of us who are obese, fat, overweight whatever. We need huge mental strength and motivation to begin to change our lives and we need immense willpower to keep ourselves on the right path and we teeter on a knife edge constantly. Just one thing and we can be shaken off that healthy road and descend in seconds into a pit of chocolate and cake. This isn’t gluttony, this is emotional need. It’s about shielding our disappointment, our disillusionment, masking some deep seated hurt, it’s an addiction, we’re not greedy, we’re addicts, we’re feeding our habit, we’re satisfying some need that nothing else can satisfy.
It is a battle, a real battle and just as a recovering alcoholic or a reformed drug addict struggles forever with their addiction, so does a fat person. I don’t mean someone who is 7lbs ‘overweight’ or someone who can’t squeeze into their size 2 jeans because they ate an ice cream, I mean fat people, people who have battled with weight their whole lives (give or take), people who are unhealthily overweight not just unfashionably overweight. There is an underlying emotional issue and maybe we’ll never get what that is. Maybe the emotional issue came after the obesity.. maybe we’re just naturally fat and society doesn’t allow us to be comfortable with that anymore than it used to allow the naturally very thin to be comfortable with that.
I don’t want to downplay the ‘others’ though, the one who is 7lbs overweight or who can’t squeeze into the size 2’s because sometimes that obsessiveness or that need to shed a few pounds can be the start of a road to obesity, it can be the beginning of a long yo-yo battle, I just mean in this instance that those of us who are further down the path who have become succumbed to whatever causes and are now obese.
But anyway back to my point, the water is flowing.
I read last night about anti inflammatory diets and decided to try to add some anti inflammatories into my new healthy lifestyle. I don’t want to follow a fad diet as such, I want to just eat healthily and so I might incorporate the odd thing or two from a fad diet into my new lifestyle now and then or I might have a fad day from time to time but I want this to be liveable, I want it to be forever. I’ll try things and some may stick some may not, I just want to get the balance right for me. At the moment I’m doing very low carb and low fat but only because I know it works for me, further down the line you’ll see me change it up a bit and I might go for a few carb intense days from time to time. We’ll see how it goes. I’m not ruling out things I love either, like chocolate, cake, ice cream, I will eat them again one day, when I’m in control of myself and when I can control my intake of such things, when i can do like non-obese people do and have a little from time to time.
So this morning I had a 4 egg white omelette with the tiniest smidge of extra mature cheddar cheese grated so finely it was like strands of thread so it went further. I seasoned with a pinch of black pepper.
I forgot to get a pic but I’ll have it again as it was delicious. Very light and fluffy and surprisingly filling. I froze the egg yolks to use sometime in the future when maybe I’m allowing myself a treat and want to make a custard or something. I took advice I’ve used before to add a pinch of salt to the yolks before freezing so that they are not so thick when they come out of the freezer and are easy to use, remember to defrost in a fridge over night if you do this. I also had a big bowl of fruit salad, I had apple and blueberries (they were also on the anti inflammatory foods list), raspberries, cherries, kiwi and clementine topped off with a blob of fat free natural fromage frais.
For lunch I had a big bowl of yesterday’s Moroccan Lamb without the cous cous this time, I ate it as a wholesome chunky soup and having settled and really allowed the flavours to blend it was even more delicious than yesterday.
For dinner I’ve planned to have a light tuna salad after my 20 minutes of dance. I’m slightly achy from yesterday’s efforts but nothing that doesn’t feel good, sometimes it’s nice to feel the effects of exercise. It’s not exactly feeling the burn but definitely feeling the warm glow.
This morning I had so many positives to reflect on when I woke up, I’m feeling so much better already, I’m even starting to think more positively, I just have a brighter outlook already and I’m excited by that. My brain isn’t stodged down with sugar and fat, it’s getting nourished, it’s hydrated, it’s getting a good supply of oxygen, it’s starting to work better too.
You know, if you’re thinking of starting off on a journey like mine I hope you find the right mental ‘place’ to start from and that you can get going. It feels so good so quickly. We might have to wait months or years even to achieve the body we want but the mental and emotional effects and the non visible physical effects start to come so much sooner. This is only day 4, can you believe it? Day 4 and so many improvements already! That’s got to be worth committing to a week of this for.
This time it’s different for me, it’s different to all of the other attempts I’ve made because I’m not just looking at this as a way to lose weight and get slim and fit into all of those lovely clothes I want to wear. I’m looking at the holistic benefits, mental and emotional and I’m thinking of how it will impact week on week on my relationship with my children, my career, my leisure activities, my relationships with others. Most importantly of all I’m looking at how this is making me healthier and how this could just prolong my life and keep me around for longer for my children and how richer their memories of me will be when I am fully engaging in an active, healthy, productive life rather than going through the motions as a sad lump who is just waiting to die, not just waiting but speeding up the process so I get there quicker.
Focus on the weight, sure that’s important and it’s a goal setter but don’t make it your only focus, there is so much more to a healthy lifestyle than weight and size and after just 4 days I’m already benefiting in so many ways. The way I see it, if I can be a healthier, more active, happier fat person turning myself into a slimmer person will be much easier. It’s going to be a long road to the slim me, so I may as well try to enjoy it along the way.