I’ve thought about this a fair bit today and how important it is.
I think that as obese people who are trying to make a change we often beat ourselves up for having a treat, straying slightly from the path. We can feel very bad about it, even start to dislike ourselves all over again, feel like we’ve let ourselves down, feel disappointed.
All of those negative feelings will weaken us so that we can’t fight the voice in our head which is telling us to eat, eat, eat. We need to be strong and resilient to front up that voice and back it down into a corner so that we can be the people we want to be and have the bodies we want, the health we want the peace of mind that we want, the lives we want.
Why do we turn to food when we’re upset, when we’re angry, frustrated, rejected, neglected, worried, nervous? Because we’re weak, they’re negative feelings and all they do is serve to weaken us.
We have to allow ourselves to be ‘normal’ sometimes. We feel like we are abnormal, we are behaving and acting in ways that are not normal for us, we are eating things and doing things which are not normal for us, we are dealing with things in ways which are not normal for us, and if we are not acting and behaving in a way that is normal for us then we are feeling abnormal.
Hands up anyone who wants to feel abnormal? Hands up those who feel good feeling abnormal? Hands up those who can cope with feeling abnormal for any length of time without it destroying their soul?
We love to fit in, we love to part of a group we love to feel we blend and mesh and merge and that we are part of a whole, we are accepted. We don’t function well when we feel abnormal. Until we get this demon under control we are abnormal and it is unsustainable. The reason we are doing this is because we don’t want to feel abnormal anymore, we want to be what we should be, we want to be ‘normal’.
Normal people make mistakes, normal people eat something naughty now and then, normal people don’t hate themselves for doing normal things.
Sometimes we need to feel normal because if we don’t we won’t make it. But we need to control normal, we need to let the odd treat become our new normal, we have to do like the healthy slim fit people we want to become and moderate our intake of things that might not be too good for us, we need to learn to restrict ourselves and we need to get back onto the wagon fast. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up, we should enjoy that moment of normality and work on building our new ‘normal’ selves. We have to banish our old ‘normal’ and move on. Only by doing that and going through that transition will we feel ‘normal’ and behave ‘normally’ when we get to our long term goal.
How many people get to their goal and go back to their former ‘normal’? How many people get to their goal and have trouble getting used to their new ‘normal’ and continue to excess to reduce themselves to the point where they become ill and often those people also return to their old ‘normal’ because that’s where they were comfortable.
We need to remember that we didn’t feel ‘normal’ as what we had accepted as our former ‘normal’ selves and accept our transition into becoming and embracing our new ‘normal’ selves.
It will work, it’s in the mind. That’s the battle. Don’t weaken yourself with negative feelings and don’t let a normal act send you off track. Strengthen yourself by taking pride in your successes to date and eat healthily, get back into your exercise routine and carry on doing the great work you’ve been doing and allow yourself to be normal now and again it will help you become the normal person you have always wanted to be, the person who can eat well and have treats in moderation, the person who can have a day or two off exercise but get back into it as part of their usual routine. That’s what we all want those of us on this journey to feel normal, look normal and behave like normal folk do. We can do it with positivity, positivity keeps our demon at bay.
We have to put things into context, naughty for us now might be an ice cream when we’re out walking on a sunny day, normal for us before we started on this journey was a tub of ice cream twice a week with a movie on the sofa. We are changing our normal and our indiscretions are not that bad. Hating ourselves because of them will only take us down one road and that is the road back to where we started. None of us want to go there.
* I used the word normal to make a point, I hate that freaking word 😀