I think it’s day 13. It’s passed crazy quick. I had a week where I had no idea what I weighed and so didn’t count any weight loss and at the start of this second week I ventured onto the dreaded scale and so tomorrow I weigh in for the first official loss count.. or at least that’s the way I’m hoping it goes.
I’ve decided to rename my blog and give it a tiny make over.
I had no idea if I would continue with this blog beyond the first day but now I know this is going to get me through so I need to pay slightly more attention to making it appeal to myself so that I want to keep coming back here. I want it to reflect more of me and what I’m about and I’ve only come to that realisation now. That self perception may change over time but definitely I’ve come to realise that my key objective here, whilst it is to save my life, is to break the yo yo cycle. I can’t save my life unless I do that hence my name change.
I also have come to see myself as waging an inner war between my fierce, hot, invincible warrior queen and my monstrous, domineering, ugly, self loathing demon. Of course my warrior queen will win out and so she needs to be on my blog to remind me that’s who is winning. I’m a terribly visual person I have to conjure up images to get myself anywhere. This is why Tracey is so important (photo grided out on right side).
Tracey’s working too, I can’t wait to start eliminating parts of her. I see her every day and just want her to start vanishing. I’ve thought about how I’ll erase her, will it be start at the bottom right and work up so that I can clearly see she’s a quarter gone, half gone, three quarters gone or should I randomly erase parts of her, take out a thigh, an opposing shoulder? I think my son’s idea for erasing her methodically is probably best.
My kids went out for lunch today, I love that they have sibling dates, especially given that they are 7 years in age apart. They just video messaged me to tell me they miss me and love me. Bless their hearts they’ve only been gone an hour. We’re such a tight little family and I feel I got something right there, I avoided repeating the ills of the past and built a small but hugely close, loyal and supportive family who genuinely love and care for one another and feel slightly broken if one member is missing but nevertheless are independent and strong enough to function well regardless. That was always important to me.
I’m developing a strategy to survive a return to work next week. I took advice from my fellow blogger Rob at http://weight2lose2013.wordpress.com/ and feel the need to schedule my healthy lifestyle to weather temptation and make it a real part of my day to day life. My challenges will be to organise myself well enough to eat breakfast. I’ve figured that if I make a breakfast which can be eaten at home or at work that is the best thing. I get to the office for 8.30 except Thursdays when I’m there at 7.30. Even if I can’t get breakfast down before work I have time to eat it at work so a flexible breakfast is key.
I have no breaks in the morning and only drink water in the classroom so that’s easy.
Lunchtime I usually go with colleagues to one of the campus’s many eateries and usually have something dreadfully unhealthy even though they all do very nice salads and healthy options. I don’t want to stop going for lunch, it’s an important refreshing break, teaching is very intense and exhausting. So I’m going to continue to do this but have salads from now on or at the very worst a jacket potato with a healthy filling.
I don’t have afternoon breaks so again I will be drinking water in the classroom all afternoon.
I get home most days for 4/5pm. Everyone’s starving by then. I’m going to do some advance prep this weekend and make some curries, soups, meat and vegetable sauces which can go with pasta or cous cous and just make sure we have a never ending supply of fresh fruits and veggies and salads.
I’m going to prepare my kefir each evening and have my daily helping each morning before I leave for work.
Once my Kombucha is on the way (first batch due for bottling tomorrow) I will do my brewing and bottling at the weekend and have a bottle in my bag for work so I can take the prescribed 4oz before lunch and have my morning dose with my morning Kefir and my other dose before dinner.
As for exercise, I’ll continue to do my ‘easy zumba’ and ‘walk a mile’ You Tube daily evening routine and I decided to take a bus to work and back rather then car. This is because I will have a 5 minute walk to/from bus stops at each end of the journey twice a day (20 minutes of walking I wouldn’t normally do) and I’m going to use the stairs at work rather than the lift (6 flights a time).
So far today I’ve had a lovely egg white omelette with a piece of oat bread, I had a huge smoothie for lunch made with so many fruits I’d need an hour to list them, a dollop of fromage frais and a generous helping of Kefir. Tonight we’re having light pork loin chops sandwiching apple stuffing with a variety of seasonal vegetables in a light cheese sauce.
My kids went for hand made burgers for lunch. I am so glad it was a sibling date and I wasn’t invited. I am not sure I could have sat and eaten a salad. The place we go makes such awesome burgers with the most fantastic sides. No, it would have been too big a challenge this early on. Next month, yes I’ll be able to resist but not now.
I’m getting stronger and I’m continuing to feel better and better in my mind and body.