So top tip here for when your teenage son and his friends ask if they can have pizza… in your house… when you are just over 2 weeks into a healthy eating plan and just after you’ve weathered Easter Chocolate Hell.
Don’t deny them, well try to convince them to go for a healthy option but if you want to labour this any longer than necessary when 4 14 year old, nearly 6 foot, starving teenage boys who have been playing football for 2 hours ask for pizza you’re a braver soul than me. My offer of a tuna salad just wasn’t cutting it AT ALL. In fact I could positively taste the disbelief seeping from their every pore when I whimpered my suggested alternative.
So what did I do to survive this attempt to keep me fat forever? I let them order, made sure they had everything they could possibly need and then told them I was not to be disturbed and I ran myself a deep, hot, bubble bath, put on a face mask, turned on some soothing music and chilled out with my book for near on an hour.
I gave them instructions to either a) eat every scrap of pizza and in any case put boxes in the recycling after or b) feed whatever was left to the seagulls and put boxes in the recycling bin before I returned. The recycling bit was important it meant I wouldn’t be able to smell it and I wouldn’t be tempted to lift lids searching for remnants and have to suffer the acute pain of disappointment when there was none to be found.
I overwhelmed the wafts of pizzalicious odour which threatened to weaken me by putting extra fragrant oils in the bath (and a towel along the bottom of the door), the music drowned out the sound of the pizza man knocking so I was never quite sure if it was ever in the house or not and when I was finished I ate my salad, all refreshed, relaxed, polished like a new penny and smothered in all manner of moisturisation to fend off ageing, saggy skin, wrinkles, dryness… you name it.
Now relax, pizza crisis over, I have won another battle.
Step by tiny step.