Be my guest, get it off your chest…

I was recounting to a friend just now the story of another friend who when her husband drover her out of their home after he had an affair and wanted to move the new model in, he went back (he didn’t realise she kept a key) while he was at work one day and systematically sat in his dressing room and cut every single button off every single shirt in his extensive designer wardrobe.

I tried to remember if I’d ever done anything naughty like that and couldn’t recall anything but then I remembered…

I was dating a guy who had a bit of an allergy to milk. It wasn’t a full on thing, if he had milk or butter he’d get a mild, itchy rash on his hands. This meant that whenever we had mashed potatoes I couldn’t add butter and milk to make them creamy as I liked and they were pretty bland as far as mashed potatoes went. But, whenever he’d peed me off I’d make him a nice cottage pie (minced beef, onions and carrots cooked in a rich gravy, topped with mashed potatoes and baked in the oven). It was his favourite and always helped to calm troubled waters.

He never did notice the coincidence whereby the day after a shepherd’s pie ‘make up’ he would for some strange reason have an allergy break out on his hands, just enough to irritate him for a day or two.

Me? Who me? I have no idea why it happened.

Anyone want to confess anything? Don’t leave me alone now feeling like the only horrid vengeful lady in blog land. Confession is liberating.

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5 thoughts on “Be my guest, get it off your chest…”

  1. Ooooooh. Those tales are evil! lol I can’t remember doing those things. I was a bit of a prankster at one time. One night I had taped open the spray wand on the kitchen sink. Right after getting ready for work, my wife decided to get a glass of water from the tap. When the faucet was turned on, she got a good amount of water on her just in time for her to go to work.

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  2. My first husband had a lovely, year long, affair with his coworker. When I found some clothing in his drawer that she had given him for his birthday (I knew I didn’t buy it, and there’s no way that he could have matched the outfits so well), I cut the crotch area out of both pairs of pants, left a lovely note stating “Now you’ll have easier access to your whore,” and tucked it all back in the drawer where he’d hidden them.

    Of course, I went and filed for divorce! The funny thing is, he didn’t find the pants until months after he moved out and we actually both had a good laugh about it all–because it was not really in my normal character to do something like that. He ended up spending the next eight years with this woman–and we actually became good friends. I’m not much of a grudge holder! 🙂

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    1. Haha, that’s so funny, glad it turned out for the best, I’m not a grudge bearer so don’t have any acts of revenge of my own but I did resent him being mean when I had to suffer mashed potatoes with no butter or milk all of the time.

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