Phew, what a couple of days it’s been. So much teaching and so many amazing students who are simply bubbling over with enthusiasm for studies lately. I’ve had a couple of teaching breakthrough moments this week which are always wonderfully uplifting and I’ll probably blog about those over the weekend. Thank heavens for those as they have seen me through.
I’ve been poorly 😦 Self inflicted. I’ve had so much work to do, tons of marking for my own classes and offering to help a colleague who has such a crazy backlog there was no other way out, impromptu lesson planning, cover teaching for absent colleagues and also my own assignments to write for my MSc, plus being a single mum and homemaker. It all led to me getting 2 hours sleep per night over the last 4 days. I can survive on little sleep but now and again not consistently.
Thursday I didn’t have time to eat at all, I managed to drink a ton of water. I”m out of Kombucha until my next brew is ready (today) and I simply didn’t have time to strain Kefir so missed that too (stupid as I know I feel the affects of missing it). When my daughter came home from her bar job in the early hours of Friday morning she brought a girl friend from work and they had brought a takeaway to eat while watching a movie (bar staff live nocturnal lives Thursday to Sunday) so yeah they brought pizza and chips with cheese. I was starving and stupidly ate a piece of pizza. They, at 21, fit, healthy, slim, active, beautiful youthful things can get away with the odd unhealthiness now and then and they recover, me at 46, morbidly obese and not in the best shape of my life… I can not and boy was I reminded of that yesterday.
Now this body of mine has had nothing but the good stuff for almost a month and said piece of pizza has made me remember why I really need to not put that greasy crap inside me ever again. I woke Friday morning with raging heart burn (I’ve not had this for ages) and it was so bad I felt nauseous, before I left for work I regurgitated the pizza which must have been lodged in my stomach over night, my body simply refusing to accept and digest it.
So I spent all day feeling sick and a little drained and run down and I had some of my most challenging students for two sessions so really needed to be on my top game. 70% of teaching is acting and fortunately I’m a good actress and I managed to put on my stage face and keep the feelings of tiredness and sickness at bay as I soldiered through my lessons.
I got home from work and had to immediately start working on finishing off a paper for my MSc . I drank tons of water, had some Kefir and my stomach finally started to forgive me for putting meat feast pizza in it.
I think my body’s helping me to get the mental attitude right and vice versa. I really believe our brains have power over our bodies in ways we don’t even appreciate and I am convinced that somehow my mental resolve this time to change my lifestyle forever has led to an almost mental expulsion of bad stuff and my sickness was my brain’s way of using my body to reinforce that I should not do this again, that there is no place in my body for unhealthy, calorie and fat laden, nutritionless junk.
Never again. Never before have I meant that as much as I do right now.
I can’t be unwell… well I can be but it doesn’t mean that anything changes, I still have to be mum and teacher I can’t take time off work too many people would be let down and so I have to use up some reserves to over ride it. I’m so thankful that due to my recent lifestyle changes I was able to call on those reserves yesterday and they filled me with a boundless energy that really shouldn’t have been there and wouldn’t have been there last month.
I decided to call it a day on my paper, I missed my midnight deadline. For the first time in my life I missed a submission deadline 😦 I’m not beating myself up, things happen and I’ll take a 10% penalty on the grade by submitting today I just need to make sure that 10% isn’t going to make me fail but I’m pretty confident that won’t be happening. Funny thing is the paper was on the subject of professionalism and it’s mighty unprofessional to miss a deadline but hey ho! Don’t sweat the small stuff I only started this masters for fun because I can’t stop studying not that it means I don’t want to achieve it, of course I do and so I will.
I’ve missed out on reading blogs, I’ve tried to keep up and to comment or at least like in acknowledgement of the fact that I’ve enjoyed a read and I’ve learned from it in some way or had my life enriched by it, be it a beautiful picture, a funny story, a success story or an inspirational piece or even just a fabulously delicious looking recipe that I want to try.
My reading of literature had to turn to the more academic kind over the course of this week and so my fun reading has been set aside and I am all too aware of the wonderful book I wasn’t able to put down last weekend lying by my bedside waiting to be completed… this weekend it will happen.
We did fit in family reading this week, that’s something which is never allowed to be cancelled or postponed so that was a little bit of fun in the chaos.
I’m hoping I get this paper in by 4.30 today then I can enjoy spending some time catching up with my kids, I feel I’ve neglected them, of course they say I haven’t and I probably haven’t but I don’t feel as if I’ve done much more than touch base with them (besides the reading time) the past few days and that’s not how I like to do my mothering.
It’s a bank holiday weekend! So I should get Sunday and Monday to spend being a mum and getting my routine back on track which is time I am going to cherish.
I need a good walk on the beach, come rain or sun or wind I am getting out there for some fresh sea air as much as possible this weekend, I really need it.