So I’m down another 5lbs which is a fabulous loss in one week at this stage and I’m sure mostly down to the efforts prompted by Darren towards the end of the week. 67lbs in total now and 9 parts of Tracey gone. This means I’ve lost nearly half an average woman. That is something to shout about and no wonder I feel like a new woman myself.
I had a day off exercise on Sunday (yesterday) well at least a day off from Darren, it was one of my two scheduled rest days per week. I still did a Tai Chi session, went for a long walk in the torrential but warm rain (everyone needs to walk in the rain at some point or other) and we dug out the Wii and had a fun sports battle or two and some dancing challenges.
Nick stayed for the weekend in the end, the weather was appallingly bad all over the country and unnecessary journey’s especially along the Eastern coast seemed unwise. Nobody minded him being here. It was great having the kids home and under one roof again if only for a short time. My daughter went back home (can’t get used to that) yesterday, she set off earlier than planned because of the weather and scheduled in lots of stops and breaks. I was glad she had a friend with her to share the driving. Driving is no fun in torrential rain for hours on end. As it turned out the West country had it a little less severe than the east and so once over the hills separating the two she said it was plain sailing mostly. It’s unusual, normally the West of the country particularly midlands and north is much wetter and the East is spared as rain gets dropped over the hilly ridges which run just off centre up that part of the country.
It all made for cosy time in and movies and snuggles. I stuck to plan eating wise and didn’t falter even when everyone had a fab creamy dessert after Sunday lunch and I coped with a home made low sugar kiwi sorbet which was delicious. I used a recipe from Tree Hugger to keep that nasty sugar low. Check them out if you’re looking for a low sugar, vegetarian, refreshing, fruity dessert.
I’m starting my own business, something I’ve wanted to do for years but never got around to doing before. Lately I’ve been prompted to go for it. Saturday night after dinner the dining table became the scene of an impromptu board meeting. I’ve kept my idea and plans to myself really. Not because I have any amazing new product I want to keep secret but through a lack of confidence I guess. I finally announced what I’ve been working away on to the kids and Nick and they were really interested, so I flicked on the projector and showed them my plans and materials so far and they were suitably impressed.
My daughter being a business grad and now in the management arena herself was very proactive in terms of her advice and crticism as was my son more surprisingly. He is very much an attention to detail person so he had some good points to make regarding fine tuning especially with marketing. My daughter is more of a financial whiz and she agreed that the figures held up, it is a virtual zero risk in terms of finance and she felt my plan and projections were modest and more than achievable. Nick felt that my market research proved I had found a niche that was totally unexploited locally and quite lucrative and so like me, he felt that with the contacts I have it was more than a shot at success it was a guarantee if I time everything right and maximise the use of my contacts. I was happy to hear everything everyone had to say as it all confirmed my own thoughts, research, ideas, plans and filled me with confidence.
Everyone loved the name I’d chosen and the rudimental designs I’d put together so today after Darren I showered and headed to a meeting with a designer who my daughter hooked me up with and I’ve laid the task of all the artwork in his capable hands at mate’s rates too which is awesome. Nick’s going to get one of his guys to set up my website once the logo has been professionalised and I have all of the copy complete… I’m almost there.
I was a little apprehensive about it at first, not about the business, I know it will be a success, but about telling people about it and laying my ideas open for criticism. i don’t think that was out of an anal kind of control freak need but more out of a lack of willing to be torn to pieces by critique. It was risky doing this now when I’m a little bit frazzled emotionally and nervously already. If they’d over criticised my ideas and my work I would have probably required a week in the Cadbury factory with intravenous chocolate infusions to cope. If they’d under criticised I would have felt they were just being nice BECAUSE I’m frazzled. As it happened I was over thinking it all as usual and they were exactly as I should have expected them to be, supportive, excited, encouraging and offering very constructive criticism.
It felt good having that ‘meeting’. My daughter had lots of ideas for the future and how she could link in with her company and her city market, Nick saw ways that I could link in through his contacts and his business into the far more lucrative London market (albeit a far more competitive one which I’m not sure I’d want to tackle but maybe someone else would on my/the company’s behalf eventually) and my son saw an opportunity for a job so he could earn some money to buy the latest guitar he has his heart set on.
I’m very excited now and talking to the designer today made me even more excited as this is when it all becomes so very real. Once I have everything ready then I’ll register the company and set up the banking officially (at the minute spending and funding is being monitored in a very informal manner) and work through contract wordings and all that legal stuff and I’ll be ready to roll. I figure it will take me to the beginning of 2015 realistically with all of my other commitments but I would rather get it right and take time building in expansion space than rush it and flounder and struggle when (not if) demand increases. I want to resign from my current post in January, that’s the ideal plan. I figure if I make this my livelihood I have to succeed there is no maybe or if, it’s got to happen. Sometimes having a safety net can make us too cautious or too lazy even so this is going to be all or nothing. There will be no safety net.
They asked why I’ve not done this sooner and I said I didn’t feel right which they ended up squeezing out of me meant I was too fat. Both Nick and my daughter had fun at my expense (in a nice way) mocking my stupid messed up perception that fat people can’t run businesses. They pointed something out to me, that if I, as my fattest self had gone to speak to myself as my fattest self and said I had this fabulous business idea but can’t do it because I’m fat, my fattest self would have laughed and told my other fattest self not to be such a freaking imbecile. They were of course right.
I have learned a new lesson… listen to your own advice. When you find yourself denying yourself a life, or good things in life because you are too fat, ask what you would say to someone else if they were saying that to you. You know you would tell them to stop being so stupid and go for it. So do that, when you feel unworthy have a good talk to yourself, even if you can’t open up to anyone else, talk to you and listen to what your common sense tells you. Don’t listen to the fat demon.