Those first snuggles with the kids after an absence are just amazing. My heart is full. I cried and I never do that stuff I’m so emotional just lately. They had a great time and they loved the gifts we brought back. My daughter said that gifts are more than adequate compensation for being neglected and my son agreed. How fickle they are!
I came back to news that my mother’s very seriously ill in hospital and so that opened up a dilemma for me. I spoke to her, the kids had already been to visit her and taken gifts and done their bit. I’m not going to go see her and I know that whatever happens I will not regret my decision, she understands and I understand that is all that matters. Dilemma over.
So I had a little work to do and some calls to make and tomorrow we head off into the wilderness. Nick went straight home from the airport and I finished off the trip to my daughter’s alone which was strange after having spent so much time together. But it’s great to be with them. Our little triangle reformed.
We just went to the outdoor sports clothing store because, according to the kids, I needed rigging out with ‘layers’ and waterproofs and walking boots. My daughter had already established on my behalf that they did a plus size range and now I’m all rigged out which is a good job as it’s pretty chilly for August and drizzly weather is forecast and set to stride out into the green hills. The kids have researched and planned the trip so I’m leaving myself in their hands… I’m once again yielding control and oddly I’m finding this quite empowering. Who would have thought it that giving away control empowers you but it does. Control isn’t about managing or leading it’s about fear and so when the control is relaxed the fear subsides and you become stronger… that’s it in a nut shell. I get this stuff now.
We head off in the morning so tonight we’re going to the cinema and out for dinner and picking up some last minute supplies for our three days in the wilds.