Under 20 – if only I was talking about my age

Somehow this post got lost so I’m reposting.

Today I weighed in at 270 pounds which is 19 stone 4 pounds for we Brits out there and 122.5 kgs for the Aussies and continentals . This means:

  • I’m under 20 stones for the first time in a long time
  • I’ve lost 77 pounds (five and a half stones) in total since I started on this rocky road in April 2014
  • I got to wipe out 2 chunks of Tracey today and she is now over half gone! Check out the visual at the top of my blog and see her disappearing
  • I’m no longer morbidly obese on a BMI chart…  just obese which doesn’t make me happy but it makes me a whole world happier than when I was super morbidly obese at the beginning of this. I am told that this means I have reduced my chances of dying early from an obesity related health condition significantly. No numbers, but that will do for me
  • I have lost around 22% of my starting body weight, noticeable health gains are reported to begin at around 10% loss as some of the first fat to go is believed to be that which is stored internally around the organs. It feels good knowing my organs are not being choked so much by the fat I put there and what’s more I can feel it
  • I lost 10lbs while on a holiday (well mostly but definitely in the last 18 days). I know now that I don’t have to put weight on when I’m on holiday, it’s not a prerequisite to stuff unhealthy food and not enjoy any exercise. Also you can dine out and entertain and have birthday cake in the middle of all that too without gaining weight – it is possible

I cried when I got weighed. The reason being that in all my fat years I had always thought that going over 20 stones (280 pounds) was something I would never allow myself to do and I also thought that if I ever did go over that weight it would be irrecoverable. I felt it was a bridge too far to bring myself back from that size. Secretly throughout this I have feared that I couldn’t do it, I definitely thought I couldn’t at the beginning and here I am. I didn’t even jump off the scale as I usually do, I stood right on it and cried and kept looking down at it as if it was reading 140 pounds and I’d surpassed my goal. This right here is the first of my real BIG goals, this is my kind of half way marker.

I know the way I’m built and I know that if I can repeat this I’m there, I’m slim and healthy and fit, regardless of what the charts and scales say. I know it’s not going to be so easy to do this next mountain climb, that my body will get used to the food and the exercise and my weight loss will slow as I haul around less and less weight. I know I’ll have to step it up and I know that I’ll have to really work hard for this and continue to make the things I’m beginning to enjoy a real part of my life. I know I’m going to face weeks where I lose nothing and I know the winter is going to present a whole new load of challenges for me, I love winter warming stodgy fatty foods but I’m already working on some recipe ideas so that my winter foods are just as fab as my summer ones are/were. I realised the importance of planning a long time ago and so I’m already thinking of where my danger zones are going to be and how to get around them.

I’m just happy today, I’ve had a tremendous summer, I’ve had a fabulous holiday with a gorgeous wonderful man who will be in my life forever and most of all I have two of the most amazing kids in the world who make me feel complete and who have given my life true purpose for over twenty years and who have made me realise that I really want a future, I want to be here as long as I possibly can be for them and for myself.  Besides being their mum I want life after intensive motherhood, I want lots of years of grown up lady time. There’s so much I still have to do and I am planning on doing as much of it as I can and losing this weight is going to help me achieve it all.

I’m heading into those hills tomorrow at a brisk pace, 5 months ago I could barely walk to the kitchen. I’m going to breathe that country air in deep and I’m going to challenge myself in ways I’ve never done before… no obstacle is getting in my way. I’m going under them and over them and through them if need be.

If you’re reading this thinking you have an impossible task ahead of you, if you think losing nearly 200 pounds to be the person you want to be is a bridge too far, please know that it’s not. When you are prompted to act and you feel now is your time to do this, go for it. Take the journey mentally, emotionally, physically and you will change yourself and change your life. So much awaits you it’s impossible for me to tell you everything that there is but don’t deny yourself anymore. Chocolate and crisps, cake and TV dinners are not worth it, they really are not. Hating yourself is not the way to go, find out why you’re doing this and have a good talk to yourself. The strength is inside you, you just have to unlock it and it trickles out at first but before you know it you are bowled over by the heaps of the stuff that start to flood out and empower you to be who you deserve to be and what you deserve to be… simply happy.  

Which brings me to the video up at the top. If all you can manage today is to grab a tambourine and stand up or even sit down and shake it along to this song, or if you can stand up and shake it and smack it against your booty, if you don’t have a tambourine and can only clap or wave your hands in the air or step from one foot to another you are moving, even if you are in a wheelchair and just roll yourself back and forth an inch you are doing something positive and if anyone doesn’t feel better after listening to this song and moving, they need to come talk to me 😛

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16 thoughts on “Under 20 – if only I was talking about my age”

  1. CONGRATULATIONS, you perseverer you !!! This is totally wonderful, Michelle, and you deserve to be absolutely thrilled (as you obviously are) !!! I know what it’s like, although I’ve been fat all my life – unlike you – and I know the joys to be found at this level of success. I can add only … KEEP IT UP ! 🙂

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  2. Fantastic effort. Losing weight on holiday is a huge achievement. You seem to have found a special level of determination. There is so much to keep going for. Congratulations.

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    1. Thank you. I’m just in the zone now I think, it’s all becoming my way of life which is a huge achievement to have managed to make so many changes I just have to carry on with it now and not lose momentum. At the moment it’s all like a kind of knock on effect as I change one thing another thing changes. I do believe there is a lot to be said for a positive mental attitude.

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  3. Hey you. Congratulations on getting under 20 st! I have the same feelings about getting under 100kgs, which is 3,5kgs away. I never ever thought I’d hit the tripple kg digits and the first time I saw them I cried for a day. I felt that all hope was lost. I felt defeated. But here I am, trying my best everyday due to all the wonderful support here

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    1. Oh wow you are so close! You will be there soon and what a tremendous boost hitting those targets brings with it. I gel so light when I hit a target like I’m walking on air. The support here is fabulous without a doubt and free which I think makes it even better as we know there is nothing to gain al device is genuine and all enc ouragement is heartfelt and so many different approaches and attitudes make it all the more exciting.

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  4. Awesome! Try not to worry about winter too much. Think of all the things you’ve done so well in the last few months- things you thought you couldn’t do!! So winter will just be another thing you do great and surprise yourself!!

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