Never feeling satisfied

I saw this and I can so relate to it. Even now I’m out the other side almost, I still get this feeling from time to time. It gets easier to fight but it’s still there. It makes me feel sad reading this but I think a lot of people who are into bodyshaming fat people just don’t get it, they have no idea.

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Stick with it

I’d hit a plateau with weight loss and had thought that was it, I was at my ideal ‘forever’ weight. I blogged about it recently (read about it here) and how I felt about plateaus but I’ve had a little shift beyond now so maybe I’m just at a point where weight loss is going to be very very slow. I’ve never known what that was like before, being so overweight and never coming close to a normal weight meant I’ve always seen good weight loss progress if I’ve stuck to a diet. The only time I did get slim was not my choice and so that one doesn’t count.

I have learned something about me and my whole journey through this plateau though, I’ve learned that the way I eat and exercise now has truly become a way of life for me. I’ve also learned that I wasn’t fully convinced of that or the need for that before I got to this point. I thought I was, but I wasn’t.

I’ve always known and I’ve mentioned in umpteen blogs how this is not a journey to an ideal weight but a journey for life, that I will always be on and I thought I had my head around that but when I got to near goal and to this plateau phase which made me think I was at goal I realised that I wasn’t prepared for a lifetime of this at all. Whether it was some emotional thing in my brain, a previously set trigger which told me “it’s done now eat cake” or what it was I don’t know but I found myself really craving crap food and I mean craving as in to the point of distraction. At first I wasn’t sure what it was and then I realised that it had a direct co-relation to me accepting I was ‘done’, I’d made it. The self destructive demon in my head sprang back to life when it heard that news and decided to make me change it all around, reverse all of the good I’d done and head back to Fatsville and boy did that demon find some power from somewhere. It’s as if it’s fueled by my emotional reliance on food, it’s energised by my self doubt and this innate need to destroy myself. I’d kept it at bay for a long time but as soon as I was where I wanted to be it rose up and hit me hard. As if success wasn’t something I had a right to. I have to delve into that I think.

MindPowerI don’t suppose I’ll ever understand the mind of a fat person and I am one. How we expect other people to understand I don’t know. I understand a lot and I understand more but I just don’t get what it is that made this happen. I fought against it and it was hard I will not lie. This is a real, true addiction, make no mistake. I don’t imagine it could have torn me apart any more  if it had been an addiction to alcohol or drugs that I was facing and it was far worse than anything I faced when I quit smoking. It took over my mind mentally and my stomach physically. I’ve never felt so empty in my stomach after food, it has actually been painful and I’m not exaggerating. I have felt so sad, so low of mood, so stressed and all because of this internal fight to resist bad food. It sounds crazy doesn’t it? To anyone who doesn’t know what a food addiction is or who believes food addiction is not real they would think I’m insane or making it up to cover for the fact that underneath it all I’m just a greedy person. But it is real.

Anyway, I’ve done it, I’ve battled and won again, for now. It took a while but I resisted and the urges have subsided again. The only way to win was to just keep self counselling, keep telling myself why I couldn’t binge on chocolate and crisps and biscuits and cakes and sweets and to distract myself with other things, keep on eating healthily, keep on exercising and now and then throw in a treat to satisfy the urges. That organic chocolate has come in really handy.

I really thought I’d seen the last of those pangs, I really thought I’d dealt with the emotional issues but now I believe that this really is a forever fight for me. That beast that wants to make me fat is going to come back time and time again and I’m going to have to beat it back down time and time again. Even though it’s been hard and I’ve not been the best person to live with and there have been tears shed over that because I felt so guilty for snapping at times and for retreating at others, even in spite of that I am grateful for this experience because it has taught me what I thought I always knew and that is that these really are forever changes and this is a forever battle. It is a journey that can never ‘end’. It doesn’t stop, it isn’t over and even though it feels like a way of life, even though it feels easy, there will be times when it really isn’t easy and when I’m reminded that the new way of life is just that, a new way which has 40 odd years of the old way lying underneath the surface and only time will put distance between those two ways of life.

It’s so important not to slip back into bad habits and to hold fast, it’s so hard to do but so important. I don’t want to be fat again and if I’m going to have to face a week or so of miserable struggle now and then to make sure that doesn’t happen then so be it. I know people say “I’d rather be happy than slim” but I really really am happy slim and I’m happy fit and healthy and if I have to trade that off for a once in a while bad mood while I’m in the clutches of the fat demon then so be it, it’s a good trade off. I would rather this than be miserable all of the time and being fat made me miserable, not because I was influenced by media or I wanted to be attractive to men or any of that, but because I didn’t feel I was getting the best out of my life or giving the best to my loved ones and I felt I was letting them and myself down.

This is a hard thing to do make no mistake changing habits is a tough call but with the right attitude it’s possible and with the right people supporting you. Nick and my son have been through the ringer this past week or so as I’ve struggled with this but they have never stopped loving and supporting me and helping me to come out the other side.

We’re all going away for a family holiday for half term and we’ve managed to get all of the kids together with us which is fabulous and rare these days. So good times are back and better ones are ahead, the sun screen is in the case along with the bikinis that I only ever dreamed of wearing. Holiday report will be forthcoming.

Plus Sized Mannequins

There is so much controversy at the moment about body shaming which is focusing on shaming fit and healthy bodies as well as larger fuller figured bodies. It’s not so much shaming the super fit, muscular female form but the use of it making those without a body like that feel inadequate and forced into unnatural and unhealthy practices (SOMETIMES) to get a body like that… let’s face it women’s bodies were not meant to have overly defined muscles, six packs and rock hard buns with chests and other parts inflated with silicone. Nor were they meant to be dangerously overweight and promotion of that as OK or normal is being slated too, fearing that it will only contribute to the rise in obesity. Both camps have a point.

I think it fair to say they are both extremes and I also think it fair to say that if the people who look like that are healthy in body and mind and are happy then who cares what they look like? I certainly don’t think it is anyone’s business to get upset about it. Yet people are getting really upset about it, angry about it even and you have to wonder what they hate about themselves that makes them so nasty towards people they’ll never meet and who make no difference to their lives. Live and let live and all that. Super fit doesn’t mean the person lives on whey powder and never leaves the gym just like super fat doesn’t mean the person is loveless and never leaves the GPs office.

What is good to see and something I do consider to be healthy is the use of mannequins in fashion stores which better represent average women’s sizes and more natural body shapes of women, if there is a normal shape. I think the representation of a normal body, as in one that is nourished well and moves enough, whether it is slightly overweight or underweight doesn’t matter, the fact that it represents reality is the important thing.

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Taken from The Guardian if you fancy reading more

So it’s good to see that a Swedish store is in the news this week for using realistic models in its stores and has a UK size 12 and a UK size 16 showcasing lingerie. What is evident from both to me is that neither are grotesque, neither look unhealthy, neither should attract too much attention, they are both perfectly OK. Debenhams in the UK also uses a size 16 mannequin which again, doesn’t look massive. I think we need to get a grip on this body size shaming thing… lots of us would rather look like the size 16 mannequin than an Olympic pentathlete anyway, lots of us don’t feel the need to have a fitness body to show that we are healthy and fit, we know we can have that size 16 body and be healthy and fit, we’re living in the real world and we’re rational.

I’m glad to see things like this. I think this is the way forward not a tit for tat between fitness bodies and obese models.

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The Debenhams size 10 and size 16

I know someone who works in fashion retail and she told me another reason larger mannequins are not used… something totally nothing to do with appearance, impression or anything else… she said that mannequins are very heavy and a pain in the bum to dress, so the smaller the better. Her store had some plus sized mannequins to dress with their plus sized ladies range but the staff were just having too much trouble and too many accidents dressing them and so they requested that they had them removed… if they had their way all clothes would be on kids mannequins.. nothing to do with image, pure and simply to do with convenience.

Is hitting a weight loss plateau something to get worked up about?

plateauI’ve hit one, 17lbs from my ultimate goal of being in a normal weight for my height. This is the first time I have not seen a decrease in weight on the scale or a downward shift in inches since I started out on my journey just over a year ago as an over 300lb unhappy lady.

I’m amazed that I’ve got this far for this long without having hit a plateau before and I really think that has been down to changing my activity and my diet a lot throughout the past year or so, experimenting with this and that and never really letting my body settle into a comfort zone. I don’t know if that would work for everyone but it seems to have worked for me.

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Even cave men chilled out

I also have to tell myself that as I lost weight just moving about was going to be using up less and less calories and it was impossible to imagine increasing my activity to accommodate for this. I was on pretty intensive activity quite early on and I don’t think I can fit more activity into my days if I tried. Besides I don’t want to try because there was a point where I became obsessed with activity and I was in danger of blowing myself out. Whilst the human body was made to move it was also made to rest and to know its limits, we were never designed to spend all of our waking hours thrashing ourselves into a sweaty breathless mess. Yes we were built to be able to do that if we really had to for a short time… think walking or running long distances now and then for food/water/shelter/communication or throwing ourselves into a physical challenge like climbing a tree/a battle/protecting children from lions by launching into hand to hand combat with one… but really we were made to take it easy now and then too.

Besides all of that, flippancy aside, I recently posted about the impact of exercise on fat loss and ultimately scientists and other professionals concur that  diet is the key to losing the fat and should be the real focus. Exercise is great for so many many reasons and should be engaged in but it’s not going to make you skinny alone… if skinny is what you want to be of course.

But anyway, all that aside, I have to tell myself that reaching a plateau is not a bad thing. It’s not something after all of the progress I’ve made to beat myself up over or to need to find an answer to. I’ve been the same now for about three weeks, after the second week I got angry with myself for weighing myself each week. I’d promised to only weigh once a month but as the end grew closer I got addicted to the scales. That was a big mistake and I have now learned from that. This week was my weigh in with my trainer and so I couldn’t avoid it and was disappointed to see that same figure staring back at me.

Then I thought about it in the whole scheme of things and realised I’m an absolute imbecile and got angry with myself for undoing in a couple of weeks all of that work I’ve done over the past year of gaining perspective, learning to look at things in positive ways, not getting down on myself, not having feelings of failure in my repertoire of emotions. I’d let myself down not by reaching a plateau but by allowing all of those horrid, fat person on a diet, negative emotions back in. In a way it was good, it reminded me of what I’d always feared, those feelings will always lurk around me, I may have expelled them but they’ve not gone far, they’re just waiting around for moments when I become weak stupid and then they pounce. So to some extent I’ve lost that complacency I was maybe beginning to feel and that’s a good thing that plateauing has taught me.

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I can live with this

I also got to thinking, I remembered when I really believed my ideal weight for me was around 15 stones, I thought this because I always had trouble getting below it, when I made a determined effort to lose weight I mean, not when I was starved by the psycho I lived with. I had done it but it had never been in a healthy way. So for me to be way below that now and to have achieved it in the most healthy way I can imagine is a huge achievement and maybe this is my real ideal for me weight. What if I am 17lbs overweight? It’s better than 180lbs isn’t it? Why can’t I be happy to be 17lbs over weight? So I started thinking like that and it made me feel better, I gained perspective as well as having realised I was an imbecile for even feeling bad about it in the first place and as well as having learned that I really would always struggle with the emotional and mental issues of a fat person or of a compulsive over eater or of an emotional eater… whichever label sticks best.

Then I started to think about time. I thought, what if I carry on doing what I enjoy in terms of my movement and exercise and fitness, what if I carry on eating healthily with a treat now and then but making good choices for myself and eating foods I’ve come to love, cooked in ways I’ve come to really enjoy and find easy to fit into my day… those 17lbs might gradually vanish and if they do that will be fabulous but there is no time frame for them to do so, they go or they don’t either way I’m safe in the knowledge that I’m healthy and fit and doing the best by me. I’m giving myself the best shot of a longer life, a healthier life, a more active life and a happier life, how could 17lbs threaten that? If those 17lbs want to stick along for the ride then so be it, if they want to slowly slip away then so be it but I’m not going to stress about them. I’m stupid if I do.

I thought about what I could do to make those 17lbs shift. I realised very quickly thankfully that I can’t do any more and remain healthy. Yes I could go on a liquid only ridiculously low calorie fad diet for a month and probably see those 17lbs off especially if I upped my PT sessions from 3 a week to 5 but would that be healthy? Would that be sustainable? Not in a million years. I’m doing the best for me now and that’s that. Those 17lbs are not significant to me and I’m not changing for them. I’ve spent a life time letting fat dictate who I am and what I do and don’t do and those days are gone, I’m free from being dictated to by invisible layers of gloop under my skin.

downloadThen I thought about goals and I spoke to Nick about it and he said to me “You’re at your goal honey” and I said “I’m not, my ultimate goal was to be a normal weight” and he said “No, your absolute ultimate goal was to be happy and healthy, you were there ages ago”.

17lbs? What 17lbs? He’s right, I’ve already done it, I have what I wanted and those 17lbs are not going to take it away from me, they are insignificant, just numbers and stay or go they are not going to take away my joy at having done this, at having made it to where I wanted to be.

I’ve transformed my life, everything about my life screams happy and new and free… my career, the way I dress, the colour of my  hair, the design of my home, the way I have fun, the way I love, the way I parent, the type of friend I am, my role in my community and so much more, it’s all better and it suits who I am, who I always was under that fat. It really has been a total and complete unwrapping process, not a transformation but an unveiling of who I was always supposed to be before fat took a hold, before I used food as my go to healer, food as my shield, food as my comfort. I’m never going back again and this plateau is pretty cool, I can see for miles from up here and it’s all looking bright.

Exercise won’t make you slim

At least not if you are fat, obese, very overweight or whatever. It may tone, sculpt and shape, increase flexibility, endurance and strength, improve cardio vascular performance and release wonderful things in your brain that make you feel amazing… happy, lively, sexy, alert and it will increase the number of calories you use… physics tells us that but it won’t make you slim.

Gratuitous photo of ripped guy

This article in the Guardian based on some medical study or other (I’m not a technical blogger academics was my job I can’t make it my fun) states that exercise will not make you lose weight or stop being obese. Lack of exercise is not the cause of obesity, too much sugar and the wrong types of fat are to blame for that and it accuses governments and health bodies of over emphasising the need to exercise in order to reduce obesity and not putting enough emphasis on the need to have a healthy diet.

Well who would have thought it?

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I don’t know about you but every time I use one of these balls I near break my face

I know personally from my own efforts that exercise of one type or another has had various effects on my body, inch loss is more of a feature than weight loss when I step up certain types of exercise such as strength training, a more toned appearance is more of a feature with the stretchy types of exercise such as pilates, increased stamina is more a feature of cardio such as walking or cycling, a greater sense of well being, tone and improved posture (which can show as inch loss) are more evident from exercise such as Tai Chi and Yoga, with all types of exercise, my sense of mental well being is enhanced as it reduces stress levels, makes me feel happier and energises me… the more fun exercise like swimming, playing tennis, really has an even more enhanced effect on me mentally.

Does my exercise make me lose masses of weight? I don’t think so, I know that dietary changes have massive impacts on my weight loss but without the feel good of exercise I would not have the mental wherewithal to fend off stress and misery and the associated lack of resistance to bad food temptations. Exercise helps me work off my frustrations, my anxieties and at times I punch out my sadness and residual effects of bad life experiences.

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Posture matters if you want to feel fabulous

Exercise also makes the impact of my weight loss more visibly obvious as my posture improves, my muscle and skin tone, my strength, my awareness of my physiology, it all helps to make me look slimmer and that makes me feel slimmer and that inspires me to not eat crap and continue to lose weight. Take a fat person sit them slouched on a stool, hunched back, spread legs, belly flopping between and then sit that person up straight, put their legs together (or as close together as you can), straighten the back, pull in the tummy, open and press the shoulders down, extend the neck and they’ve lost 10 pounds…. well they haven’t but you know they look like they have.

Do you know I’ve got an inch taller since I started this journey of mine? I’ve regained the inch I lost during my late 30s and that is purely due to having pulled my body back into a posture more befitting a lady and less that of a potato.

So yes I believe that exercise alone is not enough and diet really is the big magic key to weight loss and the better the diet, the more it suits you and the more healthy it is (depending on what you believe, organic ultra low carb has by far had the biggest impact on weight loss for me and my family AND best equips us with energy for our active lifestyles) then the more effective it will be in terms of helping you lose weight more quickly. BUT do not abandon the thought of exercise because it has its place in your success and is important.

And please don’t let that word exercise put you off, think of it just as moving more. To exercise you really do not have to don a lycra one piece and leg warmers and contort your body into strange shapes and lie gasping for breath by the end of the first half of a step class warm up. It doesn’t mean buying expensive equipment and paying for personal trainers. It doesn’t mean sweating your fat ass off in a gym infront of perfect bodies. It just means moving more today than you did yesterday and getting a groove on with that. That can mean cleaning out a spare room or the kitchen cupboards,   it can mean using your upstairs loo rather than your downstairs one, it can mean walking to a bus stop or train station and taking public transport rather than your car, it can mean strolling around a park during your lunch hour rather than sitting in the

Even this is better than total immobility
Even this is better than total immobility

canteen, taking the stairs rather than the lift even if for just one floor, it can mean walking the kids to school rather than driving them, it can mean you taking the dog for a walk with the kids rather than leaving it to them, it can mean standing up in your living room and stepping from one foot to the other during your favourite soap opera, or going for a five minute walk around your neighbourhood at 11pm when it’s dark and no one can see you. People exercise in chairs and in beds, there are videos to follow on You Tube of exercising lying down and sitting down, there is no excuse not to move more. Trust me you will be AMAZED by how fast your fitness levels increase, it happens in a matter of days and your capacity to exercise only increases the more you do it.

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Animal fat… do your research

But yes, I agree for real results and weight loss, to change from obese to normal you really do need to address that diet first and foremost. Read about food and what it does to your body, read about how your body deals with food, how it processes it and how it gets the best out of it and what it does with the rest and develop an eating plan to suit you. Include what you like to eat (the healthy things that is), find ways to adapt what you like into a healthier version so you do not feel deprived, treat yourself now and then, cut right back on sugar including the naturally occurring kind, cut out unhealthy fats (research animal and dairy fats before you make assumptions about them), think organic, think green and leafy, think minimal cooking, think naturally occurring, research your health issues and your health concerns ie hereditary conditions you want to fend off and see which nutrients and foods might help with that, read the pros and the cons and youno-matter-how-slow-you-go won’t go far wrong. Also, if you know your over eating or eating of the wrong foods is linked to something else and has become a habit or a boredom fix or something to do with your hands (ex smokers take heed) then change those habits. This should be a lifestyle change not just diet and not just exercise but often the thing that prevents us from getting in shape is a really bad habit.

Don’t think that if you can’t exercise you can’t lose weight because if that was the case how do we explain people in comas or incarcerated getting real thin and we all know that being bed bound with an illness and unable to eat results in dramatic weight loss… so whilst I wouldn’t advocate any of those methods of losing weight they prove that you can lose weight without moving much, but moving much makes losing weight so much more fun and you won’t run the risk of ending up a skinny weak saggy miserable mess at the end of your efforts.

Do Plus Sized Clothes in High Street Stores ‘Normalise’ Obesity?

I was reading this article on Mummys Pages (not sure how I ended up there) but I have also read other similar ones about UK celeb, one time singer and TV now and then pop up Jamelia who in a nut shell feels that plus sized clothes should be available only in specialist shops and not an integral part of the regular high street fashion stores.

Her reason for this is that to put those clothes in the mainstream shopping spaces normalises obesity and can promote an unhealthy lifestyle. Something she feels we should not be allowing to happen. My new healthy self thought “she has a point” but then I got to thinking…

I remember a year ago or so, exploding with indignation when a guy blogged something similar and I was kind of embarrassed with myself for changing my mind so easily now I’m out of the obese zone. I kind of had an inner conflict feeling like I’d left my overweight brothers and sisters behind and become one of ‘them’ the skinny folk (not quite). I needed to think more about how I really felt about this subject and not just do it with my ‘I’m alright Jack’ hat on, because I know, only too well how fast I could slide back into obesity, believe me I know and I know what a fight I have forever to keep myself from that slide. So no, I decided to think about this not as a slimmer, healthier, fitter, happier person, but think about this as who I am, a fat person currently in control.

Evans was where it was at in the 80s and 90s if you were lucky to have one near you, there was no internet shopping back in the day
Evans was where it was at in the 80s and 90s if you were lucky to have one near you, there was no internet shopping back in the day

I thought about the days when finding plus sized clothes was a specialised job, there were select stores on the high street which stocked fatty fashion and that was it, or you made your own…with no patterns. Evans and Rogers and Rogers were the two main ones I can recall and then Rogers and Rogers, who now sell out of Matalan stores, I only saw in London.  and The offerings were not very good… thinking back to the 80s and early 90s, lots of the plus sized stockists were apparently aiming at middle aged ladies or people who worked in offices and didn’t mind wearing polyester florals and ill fitting trousers and odd shaped jackets. Strangely even the specialists didn’t seem to understand the larger figure and what it needed to dress it to make it look and feel good.

For a young girl/lady these offerings were mostly over priced for the often poorly made garments that they were, but at the other end of the market you had quality in celeb offerings from the likes of Dawn French (UK comedian) who opened a cute little boutique in London right near my friend’s flat called Sixteen47 which sold tent like creations at what then seemed extortionate prices to the more wealthy large lady. A little look for Sixteen47 just now showed that the prices are less extortionate these days, they have an online store and the garments are rather less tent like to an extent.

It was rare to find clothes in regular high street fashion shops such as Top Shop, Chelsea Girl, Miss Selfridge and later Next below a size 10 or above a size 16. I remembered this all with a shudder, even calling to mind some of the hideous outfits I wore, knowing they looked crap, feeling crap, hating myself and hating that I’d had to spend a fortune to feel and look horrendous.

BUT I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the misery of some of those shopping trips spurred me on to start a diet. That awful feeling of nothing fitting or looking right, being faced with your fat self in the changing room mirror or even worse in those days walking in to try to squeeze yourself into something and being met with the horror of communal changing rooms. The desire to wear nice clothes, the hatred of the fat shopping trip, the way I had to walk by every other shop on the high street searching for the same one shop that sold what might fit me was awful. It affected my social life. I hated girlie shopping trips, would never ask my slim friends to come into the fat shop with me and would try to steer them towards shoe shops, accessory shops and make up stores. I had TONS of shoes and nail varnishes and make up and hair accessories but just one or two outfits… outfits that I didn’t like but had had to settle for. I still notice with young chunkier girls how they still, in spite of the massive choice now available on the high street, tend to spend more on shoes and jewellery and change their hair colour every five minutes than buy lots of clothes so there is maybe a lingering still of what I used to feel.

Times have changed, most mainstream fashion outlets on the high street and online make clothes up to size 22, 24, 26 or beyond, including the big supermarkets and many of these offer beautiful, trendy garments at reasonable prices in not too shabby (but varying degrees of) quality. Higher end fashion, at higher prices is also becoming a big business when targeted at the obese ladies and all at a time when never before has health and fitness been more heavily promoted.

Isn’t that bizarre? When I was a young fatty with nowhere to buy clothes, I didn’t know anyone who went to a gym, I don’t even think there were many gyms around. I remember keep fit classes at the local church hall becoming popular in the late 80’s and then the Jane Fonda explosion and from there we got to here, a gym on every street corner. Nobody talked about healthy eating unless they were trying to lose weight and we didn’t have a clue, lettuce and yoghurt was about it in terms of our education.

Things have shifted so much in the fashion world that if you are not plus size some of the plus sized shops make clothes from a size 14 to pick up the top end of slim, so size 14 ladies are able to pick up real bargains and some lovely clothes from the plus sized outlets as these smaller sizes, catered for by other high street shops get left on the rails for sale time. I know this, I do it myself. I have frequented the plus sized shops for so long that I know what goes down in there, for someone who has always been a 14 they may never dream of entering a plus sized shop and I’m glad because I get to snap up all of those bargains let alone the accessories which skinnies miss out on. So i guess that’s a positive in all this which supports specialist shops but only for my own selfish interests.

So, where do I stand on this now? I’ve had to think about it and for me, recalling the horror of not being able to find clothes to fit, being at the mercy of the plus sized specialists who didn’t have to try with style, all they had to do was make it BIG and price it HIGH and the obese folk bought it as they had no choice, I would hate for anyone young or old to go through that misery. It definitely left scars on me, for sure and I thank the campaigners and bloggers who have and still work to influence clothing makers to think about style, fashion, fit, body shape and not just make shapeless sacks.

So on that count I support the expansion of plus sized fashion into mainstream. There are people who are sick of dieting, sick of the yo yo who cannnot lose weight and who have given up and decided to be happy as they are, many of these people are healthy, fit active people, more so than lots of skinny people I know, they are living their lives, raising their kids, pursuing their careers, dating, getting married, travelling and they have a right to be able to feel fabulous doing that. Who is Jamelia or anyone else to say they do not have that right? Besides this I know people who are slim but have massive boobs who have to wear plus sized tailoring to fit their body shape, high street stretch in a 14 will do the trick but if they want to dress it up in something sophisticated or as I say tailored for work or whatever they have to go into plus size to get the fit. Why should they not be able to find what they need on the high street at an affordable price just because their shape dictates their size on the rail?

In terms of business. If there is a market businesses will exploit it. As I said earlier the pressure from bloggers and plus size fashionistas is increasing and they are alerting manufacturers and designers to the demand. No longer is the fat woman a middle aged mother of 6 stuck at home happy to wear an elasticated crimpolene skirt and polyester vest top with nylon cardigan on top… oh no, big ladies now are business women, models, celebs, entrepreneurs, independent ladies with disposable income all of their own and they want fashion.

Business doesn’t care if women are getting fatter because they’re selling them clothes, businesses don’t have conscience or half of the world’s food manufacturers would be out of business. All they want is profit and if there is a group of large women holding out money and shouting suggestions they are not going to ignore them, so how Miss Jamelia proposes to halt that business cycle of identify the market, meet its need and make money I’m not sure. And why not? Why shouldn’t businesses make clothes fat people want, they didn’t make them fat, the don’t sell mega packs of chocolate and cut price packs of biscuits and bottles of sugar laden soda… oh wait, some of the them do, in fact Asda has the doughnuts and muffins in the doorway section WAY too near the clothes really. Are they subliminaly saying, have some doughnuts its OK we sell big clothes? Hmmm, I wonder.

Finally and perhaps most importantly, does shaming or forcing someone with obesity to lose weight actually work? Ever? No. Well at least not in my experience. Given the way lifestyles have changed since the 1980’s in terms of what and when we eat, how we live our lives, would taking away big clothes from mainstream stores make people change and lose weight? I doubt it.

So while I can see where Miss Jamelia is coming from I don’t agree with her, I think it’s more complex than her simple view considers, I wonder if she’s just looking for a hook for another documentary to be commissioned during which she tells us how amazingly fit and healthy she is and how we all need to be like her (last time it was single parenting).

People have a choice. Some people choose not to change their body size or their activity levels, not all fat people are obese, not all obese people are ill or unhealthy or unfit or inactive, nobody deserves to have their quality of  life damaged because someone tried to force their hand to do something they struggle with. I remember feeling forced to diet after a misery inducing shopping trip and it’s not fair, I wasn’t even that fat, I was a young girl, I should have been happy, I should have been carefree, I shouldn’t have been ashamed to go shopping with my friends, I shouldn’t have been compelled to buy a ridiculous amount of shoes, I should have just been able to buy some clothes. If I had been able to do that maybe I would have felt more normal and engaged more with other activities and not got fatter and fatter and used food more and more as my crutch. In fact I remember peeling off from friends heading to trendy boutiques and buying some cakes and gorging them on the way home on my own, had there been a place I could buy something alongside my friends those cakes wouldn’t have entered my body and sat on my gut for years and I might have gone out dancing in my new clothes that night.

I get it, I do, I see her point but the more I think about it the less I agree with her. I read lots of American bloggers who say how difficult it is in the US to get good plus sized high street fashion and it hasn’t done anything to reduce obesity there has it? I don’t think it would here in the UK either. Jamelia was entitled to her opinion and these debates are always good to have, they make you think, challenge the way you think and keep things real. I’m glad that I’m not out of touch with how morbid obesity felt and how it happened, it will all help me to stop it happening again.

Do It Like a Marine – Ready made fitness plan

One of my son’s friends wants to go into the Royal Navy when he is 18 and they were chatting today about what the fitness requirements may be, so I went online and did a bit of research and we found out. Not only did we find all of the info we needed we found this fab Get Fit To Join The Royal Navy booklet with a fab fitness plan all laid out.

So the boys have decided to make this their ‘get buff for summer’ approach starting tomorrow. I’m hoping they take it beyond the summer and either use this as their fitness benchmark or they continue to develop their fitness in a healthy and purposeful way after completing this. I’m sure it will do the boy who wants to go into the forces good to have a few friends on the programme with him and the team spiritedness of the approach and no doubt a bit of competition won’t do any harm in helping him achieve his fitness goals. We’ve suggested they get sponsors and raise a bit of money for a forces related charity like Help the Heroes or such while they are at it as that may ensure that they endure to the end.  They’re going to get on with sorting that out tomorrow too.

I’m tempted to have a go myself and join them even if not actually with them as such but alongside them hidden away somewhere at different times of the day. I just thought this is a good idea for anyone who is trying to energise a teen or get them fitter and taking more care of themselves or as a family project even and especially for someone who wants to or may want to join a profession where physical fitness is going to be an assessed must.

It’s also a fun way to just build fitness and stamina, strength and ability really and if you’re lost as to where to start, or looking for a progressive programme which takes in cardio and strength, fitness and endurance and a range of exercise including swimming, running/walking, resistance training then this might be an idea for you, or an adaptation of this maybe.

Sometimes Always I find that making exercise fun, making it a social activity, making it just for fun competitive, making it about improvement and progression, giving it a goal, time limiting it, making it about raising money or awareness for a good cause… all of those things make it more fun and the more fun it is the more likely we are to do it.